Archive for July, 2008

meditation masturbation

Posted in disdain without dilemma on July 30, 2008 by tony saputo

there is no time like the present
and no present like this atmosphere
with eyes locked away in solitude
i feel this hurt and i have no way or form to explain it
meditation has been torture for me the past year or so
all i feel is the desire
of lost souls, longing loved ones
hungering for more
and never feeling satisfaction
with all this
we still try to tell ourselves we are so golden
so content to drive to occupations and fancy events
with fancy acquaintances in fancy venues
in fancy cars donning fancy clothes
with fancy conversations and tired jests
to keep ourselves away
to keep ourselves busy
and all i can think about, all i can give
all i want, and all i can be
is love


the trees behind my work speak to me

Posted in glory in the overlooked on July 29, 2008 by tony saputo

through summer snow is a compost pile i have secretly been stashing for an iris.
but just beyond the summer snow is a somewhat dense but small explosion of forestry
that speaks to me daily
it reminds me this world -despite the bitter, dreary rituals= has some hope left
and as thompson remains feared and vigilant i shut him off for a moment to hear these words

“we are not really lost but waiting;
when you leave you will know us as we know you;
we have seen the dreams of fools like yourself,
and we have shared the whispers of the gods whom have yet to see;
settler and dream, feel our wisdom etched in these passing rings;
slow down and feel;

but i retort,
“wisdom is a truth, indeed, but i must not believe you;
my heart has spoken and cannot be ignored;
this dream has exploded and the passion felt;
back up and realize, we are alive;
we are now, despite your patience;
realize you may never rise again,
and this small sprout of greens and earth can always be covered;
on contrary form, this heart will not be covered or forgotten.
so tell me who is waiting or dying”

The Pursuit Of Happiness And The Dive Back Down

Posted in Uncategorized on July 28, 2008 by jigsaw rhetoric

battling the beast i thought had stopped breathing
seeming to exhale in a phase
directly into my face
coming and going like the eclipse that pulls at my brain
and locks me out of the dream suite
just laughing and laughing as i stand outside knocking
drenched in pain
piss clouds that shout thunderous “FUCK YOU’s”
across rusty creek banks
on dusty plains
where i once played
where i’ll soon stay
where i’ll trap the beast
and bury it
beneath shattered remains of a childhood
where it will remain
until next phase

the beginning of an era…

Posted in Uncategorized on July 25, 2008 by tony saputo

We exist.
We exist in this world.
We exist in this world with infinite hates, ignorance, injustices, and true negativity.
What do we do? Nothing…

We work and play video games. We start shitty trendy bands that just recycle and water down whatever mtv or those great clear channel stations keep feeding us. We pretend to not have dreams. We multiply ourselves to justify relationships with people we do not love. We gossip to ignore truths that hang in our spirits. We glorify filler and useless entertainment to divert the attention of our own daily perils. We buy useless and meaningless shit to dissimulate a life unfulfilled or under stimulated. We identify with subcultures that have been laid out for society by marketing teams somewhere in skyscrapers in far away cities. We play pawns. We look away from the things that disturb us. We fear the unknown. When confronted, our mouths hang without answer or conviction. We do not create; we die.

I know this; I have lived this. Despite the amazing instances I have day in and out, I am sorrowed to partake in a world of monotony and foolishness. It sickens me to the core. As I am criticizing myself for being just a little to cranked on the bitch mode, please consider this. We all are in this world and face similar challenges everyday in and out. As American children, we are taught that we all have equal positions and opportunities on our path. Still, despite all this, the richest man is still dismayed, and he has no answers. What is missing? What is everyone looking for? In all this, a question emerges. This question fills my head and swallows my heart whole.

What do we do with our lives?

This is my answer. This is my outcry to a society that has forgotten the beauty in art and writing. Almost every great human achievement has one thing in common- creativity. How did we get here? Who cares…. Why are we here? Lame, shut up and go to work… What do we do with our lives? We create.

Welcome to the blog/zine it’s NOT killer. This is a zine that focuses on the positivity and progression through creation and art. We have no agenda, no themes, or a uniform political bias. The zine will be a collection of writings taken from the blogs written by myself and a few others whom I believe to be inspirational, amazing writers as well as people. Also, each issue will be including art from a few local artists. The blog will be updated very often with probably at least one person contributing every day. Just to remove any confusion, this is a focus on the positivity of creating. These entries may be as negative as a stick in the mud, but this is purpose and art. Welcome to it’s NOT killer, my newest passion.