Archive for September, 2008

This new scenery is shifting

Posted in glory in the overlooked on September 29, 2008 by thirdcircuit

He probably isn’t as smart as his Indian accent or professional pants make him look. But who am I to judge? He’s not the only one in a gas station at 3:30 in the morning. The difference is (and i think this is a big one) I’m buying cigarettes and he’s asking the gas station attendant what he thinks is the nature of God. And it reminds me of the episode of The Simpsons where Homer and Apu fly to India and hike up a mountain to ask the sage and founder of Kwik-E-Mart a couple of very important questions. And here it is, reality, being way weirder than fiction. Again.

I suggest that I might be allowed to sit in and listen to their conversation. You never know when a guy in a gas station and the attendant are gonna actually figure it all out. I’d like to be there if this happened. The gentleman’s reaction to this suggestion is a polite and unmistakable “fuck you” of a glare. I’m not invited this time around. The jealous part of me hopes they didn’t solve for x where x is Maya.

x=our souls

Posted in foreshadowing on September 29, 2008 by tony saputo

take x and solve for the lowest common denominator
remember x cannot equal zero but can and will be infinite in the correct planes
x can equal our loves. losses, wants, jealous desires, summer snow, and rays of light.
it can be executed in a personal or public manner
and will move all when proven equally

do not forget the basics of our blocks the very core of us
is us

eyes are open…

Posted in Uncategorized on September 24, 2008 by tony saputo

i am starting to see that no matter who wins this election, we did not vote for him.
as this is getting closer and closer, we are all fooling ourselves. telling each other who is the better choice.
sadly, i think the best choice i have made during this election time is buying a gun and finding a cave to hide in one day.

i know better

Posted in Uncategorized on September 24, 2008 by tony saputo

is it worth all these punctures just so i can say i tried?
are you enjoying this as i am becoming more and more diluted?
everything is here, and all i am doing is waiting for you.
you lied to me.

welcome to the end…

Posted in Uncategorized on September 22, 2008 by tony saputo

this verbatim is a little extreme but i watch this and have no idea i even am working towards a goal… scary shit

they can fix your body, but it is your mind that will kill you…

Posted in lost in these purposes and collecting ours on September 21, 2008 by tony saputo

i sat next to an old man who was wasting away our day
the cancer sat inside him and was eating at everything i could ever want
as we sat the birds sang, bugs chirped wings and flew about, and the sun cascaded over every word we said
the man looked at me and looked away…

“When you are my age, you’ll probably be able to live until you are a hundred and fifty, you know… they’ll have all these medicines and new treatments. they’ll regrow your organs and all that mess, but your mind they cannot touch. there’s a point where you are ready to die. you won’t want to experience those sorrows again, and that’s simply something you can never have taken away. so why bother? what am i afraid of?”

i could not answer. i sat quietly and listened intently. i knew full and well this was one of the greatest days i had ever lived. i have found i could go everywhere in the world, but until i can share these experiences. it really does not mean shit. this is the difference between the world and i. i sat, listened, and dreamed up the day none of this even matters anymore.

“what am i afraid of?”

my penis this, my penis that… berka der….

Posted in funny noises, lost in these purposes and collecting ours on September 21, 2008 by tony saputo

it is fun to play the jester
brushing the universe off your shoulders
dying alone, the masks bulletin my story

the laughing humanist who fails miserably
the suckling that lets my own make be
pure annihilating anguish to be led by bitter hops and stomach ulcers

you cannot replace a heart full of wine with a glass of water
and you cannot fill veins with enough homecomings and love
to make it worthwhile

and this soul, proudly despising
still has to deal with this truth
the iris is absent and cannot see what is happening

the deteriorating stature of someone to be proud of?
the collapse of my very own persona
is this worth the infinite compress upon what i bear?

i was tossed to the pits
but the jaws will not gnash no matter what
to exist is to be cursed and in conclusion, ruined

i am looking at the sun waiting for an explosion
viewing the world as the agreed uncompleted spectrum
i know you never saw this

praying for a red to come over
and make everyone forget
to pass on and

at 6:47am today i sat i my car and realized
that everything is a farce
i am still in love

waking in my bed, looking through the window
the lights dance on bricks and sore concrete
it is telling me to wait and to fade away

praying to have this taken
i had given all
so like a legend or the Chinaski inside me

i fade out.
knowing that this is not reality or dream
no longer opaque but transient

know i have memorized every line and detail;the retinas know me as i them
but i would gladly never smile again for an infinite hope or wisdom
for every face i have ever loved to forget me, and i them.