Archive for November, 2008

no advice can exist for this…

Posted in glory in the overlooked, is it really real? on November 30, 2008 by tony saputo

what else can i be but the outer aura of my own very soul?
what light will i need but my own very will and knowledge?

find the material and you will find error
today i conquered fear and chose love
no matter how much it did and will pain me

blur

Posted in advice on November 15, 2008 by tony saputo

everything
spins
so
fast,
when
you
hang
onto
something,
make
sure
it
will
not
let go
of
you

the rain today

Posted in is it really real?, lost in these purposes and collecting ours on November 15, 2008 by tony saputo

it was a good reminder today
that it is not all supposed to be joy
the axis spins on desperation and great cheer
as the raindrops melted into the ground
i melted away as well

slowly pooling into a small unassumed puddle
i overflow into the street
flowing down the sides while pollution whizzes close by
and lost wandering souls are sopped
pouring into the rain sewer

forward onto the river and in this basin
i again subside into our atmosphere
lowering again
collecting into a hidden sea
where you will not find

this is where i am now
you will not know me
my waters will not be your friends
anonymity and winds are the company i keep now
and no vessel will disturb us

today my insides were out
and we were all soaked
but this is a day where the ground
makes me smile
soaking lonely steps aside
at least the world related to me today

you have to understand something

Posted in foreshadowing, guilt in the serenity, what day is it on November 13, 2008 by tony saputo

this is not a well organized mannerism or solution
but the attack of a million little pieces flaying about (insanity)
but this time it is real
tell oprah i am not interested though

really it IS what we are made of
even to the smallest component we are balls of chaos
spinning erratically
creating each and every one of our own universes, fates, morals, attention, goals, and distractions…

i used to think i was keeping everything easy and simple
now in stepping back i see i just wanted to be that
silly and simple

the truth, well, the truth is a funny thing…
because when we speak the truth it is not always setting us free is it?
and when we swear on our loved ones’ graves and shit-fuck stars,
it really does not add up to much, does it?

this is the story of a man who does not want to forget that he needs to be a child
this is the story of a misanthrope who still finds love and wants to save this god damned world
this is the story of a scientist who is too angry to care to be wise
and this is the story of a lover who does not have one

this is the story of another forgotten life
the dust passed into the creeks and rivers of our lives
forgotten when our children pass away
memoirs of the love and life we gave
because it was the right thing to do.

when you fill your heart so much
the only thing left to do is explode

i cannot write anything good anymore, anything good cannot write me, either

Posted in what day is it on November 11, 2008 by tony saputo

hell is the burden of knowing perhaps where you really sit in the world
or the dream of not being where you really are
all of the scars in each knuckle has its own story
swears its legacy is an untold opus of importance and righteousness

remembering how to fight comes in handy these days
the colors of dreams can only exist in mathematical identities
but i see these things alive and conscious
sound and seen to be truth

i recall being told science is the search of truth by an overgrown toddler trying to sell me a fuckin’ hubbard classic
i also recall capitalization
the taste of whiskey is a living memory full of the lives, despairs, and joys
all those men and women who forgot what they were searching for

the problem is that i cannot forget what i am searching for
and i am enough of the fool to let the soul consume
everything i was and will be
as soon as i remember what that is, i’ll be in lights, cigarette in hand, drink in tote, and the biggest middle finger
it’ll make madonna blush

just a query?

Posted in what the hell is wrong with us on November 9, 2008 by tony saputo

it is not an uncommon feeling for me to want to remove myself from this society, but in the days where justin timberlake can call himself a “true nigga” on his album, i do not have any idea why i am still here. does anyone else even understand a glimpse of where i am coming from?

selfless ambition

Posted in Uncategorized on November 6, 2008 by tony saputo

when everything is dull, and you find yourself asking, “Why am i awake today?”

the bitter despair resides well inside your tongue and heart, allowing you to only know hatred and mutiny.

when the world speeds past you like the lost child in the hurricane of a forgotten genocide, war mongers, wastoids, and shit-fucks all become your friends

when you look for your arch nemesis and recognize the scoundrel in the mirror, how do you continue breathing?

in globes and passages, i delivered every last breath
and i all i can think, say, or motion is, “i’m tired, so fucking tired…”

sleep is a distant cousin that forgot where he put my number
and peace is an old friend that soiled our love

i have no more awakenings
i have no more long nights

i have turned automatic
unable to concede to any emotion, feeling, state of mind

i hate you all
desiring nothing but the same from you