Archive for December, 2008


Posted in Uncategorized on December 17, 2008 by tony saputo

if i cannot wake to see the reason
let me slumber and fade away
forget my name and remember the passions that outlasted my soul


panic attack

Posted in exploding heart on December 16, 2008 by tony saputo

slow down
remember to breathe
you have it all
because we are all

remove every expectation
and appreciate that
you and i are still breathing fine
what am i afraid of?

have you ever lived in a nightmare?

Posted in heartbreak, is it really real?, lost in these purposes and collecting ours, Uncategorized on December 16, 2008 by tony saputo

every story has a beginning, middle, and end, they say
sometimes the truth hurts
i cannot help but think perhaps this is my own middle finishing up, running dry
as the end seems so quickly here

perhaps i am to die here, alone, in my imaginary castle
these mansions of dreams and despair
in the visions of an iris worth everything, i fooled myself
almost a year ago i just learned this name

we are but bittersweet creatures
and have spun nothing but our own webs
these constructions seem to only trap ourselves
as our hearts only yearn for true love

take me aside
tell me i am wrong
but i am hoping
for nothing anymore.

the world had turned me over time and time again
distractions do not fool me these times
call my name what it is:
responsibility with an empty heart

two more sips

Posted in butterflies envy this, guilt in the serenity, heartbreak on December 12, 2008 by tony saputo

it’s an easy downhill slide, that is us visiting that past which gave us no view.
the blinders are easily shut and rendered as such a great time.
speak your words of the events lost in between borrowed drags,
and in through the dancing pirouettes the smoke shows fools ignorant of their own jest or patronized squander.

this is the reality i see day in, day out.
sleep and laugh off these hours, for they really are our last.

if i prayed, i would pray for us.
if you could see, you would understand.
hope is not a bit of faith in what we are wanting, but a whole shit ton of needs we are all forgetting.

do not forget me.

Hugo Never Waited

Posted in foreshadowing on December 11, 2008 by thirdcircuit

Something about a sub-stage. Like exists in a theatre, and always has, and that I’ve never heard of because theatre makes me kind of sick. And it is here that ideas are born of disinterested fathers. Imagine a city street where people come and go and they’re all on their way to something. They’ve all put some thought into how they will carry themselves today and what kind of shoes they will wear and whether or not to wear a jacket (a decision based on anything but practicality). And just below their carefully chosen shoes, beneath the dust, the concrete, the packed earth and worms, is a series of tunnels that has dictated their every action without them knowing it. Tunnels full of treasures. And most of them are scary. You wouldn’t approach them. Beneath the church (now converted into a night-club) is a catacomb where the first mass took place. And beneath the library (now converted into a multi-entertainment-plex) is a burnt out candle and a guy who wrote himself blind and has forgotten his name. Under all that dirt there is never a breeze. Here’s where ghosts of the past and embryos of the future wander and wait. It’s not our fault that the surface is flat and windy, and that whatever ideas have in the past seeped through the cracks (spurred on by seismic pressure and sheer need of light) have blown away and evaporated. It’s just getting windier, and all we can do is tighten our collars and try to not be swept away ourselves. In the face of parking-tickets, tax-time, car-repairs and picking up the slack of the perpetually lazy and top-heavy, we’re not gonna notice grey stone buildings ’til they’ve fallen. “Finally.” “The only thing that stays the same is change.” I bet it was a sniveling blogger came up with that one.

unspoken 2

Posted in heartbreak, lost in these purposes and collecting ours on December 4, 2008 by tony saputo

i wrote this about 5 months ago, i never was able use it for what i was intending, but at least someone will read it now….

there are unspoken doors and passages here
see your face
eyes closed and mouth wanting
there are no words here because it is understood

all i have ever wanted was eternity without the irony
life holding no death
and your arms caress these ideas
within such, our minds float and forget the days or time

for real…

Posted in foreshadowing, glory in the overlooked on December 3, 2008 by tony saputo

snow falls during a slow haunting slumber
i force myself awake in the early hours
to discover the evidence of a world i can only create

outside a blind dense blanket of white
the calling of undisturbed precipitation and bliss
the overwhelming envelope of somber glee

there are no footprints of the ones before me
existing alone i have no signs that somewhere there is a connection
i am but one of this earth and existence

this is the only conveying nature i can express
have you ever known a great story but could never find someone to tell it to?
my heart in a question, my soul, the exclamation.