Archive for February, 2009

waking up is different than consciousness

Posted in foreshadowing, lost in these purposes and collecting ours, what the hell is wrong with me? on February 28, 2009 by tony saputo

i can remember empathy at one time or another
and it is funny how closely we study the floor in these times
all the while you seem so estranged, bitter, and selfless
we put on our blinders and only view the orange success of a fucking carrot

the instant gratifying member we all love to suck on time and time again
the fallacious witness of a real crisis and a fucked up salvation
the life power existing within blood and semen
the boiling point that exists in my mind and solitude

the uncanny aggravation that cannot be seen, heard, known, and hardly described
i still realize this is a part of me and i am of it
destroying these farce components would only destroy another component of myself
so the question concludes the statements

what is more important? myself or my sanity?
the triggers that are pulled day in and out
versus the small euphemism know as happiness
aka the shitbag dream of america
the lies of authorities and churches
and the sakes of everyone too fucking dumb to  see what is really right in front of them

i get up in a horrible mess and put my face in a tumbler
3 cubes and a tilted bottle
everything goes on hold
and i smile for a small instant


bitter butter burnt

Posted in glory in the overlooked, guilt in the serenity, heartbreak, is it really real?, Uncategorized, what the hell is wrong with me?, what the hell is wrong with us on February 19, 2009 by tony saputo

i know damn fine what i look like to them
a little too eccentric, not distant enough
confused, belligerent, assuming,
foolish, another poor hopeless romance, a sap

an old drunken fool trapped inside the underbelly of a twenty-something  scoundrel
a careless slob of little consideration
the gravity of the clumsy jester
the  loneliness of an hopeless surface combining with an illusion of the profane

all they have seen, even you, as these letters fill an illusion of time and memories
have not seen what i have
though by sight my feet is grounded firmly
i have been floating still and motionless while the world keeps spinning

i have not been able to catch up since
we lose our dreams and sell the rights
servitude has been resurrected as a fiscal hierarchy
as i sail past the cocaine and false induced smiles

there is a huge disregard for everything gorgeous, beautiful, and right
how can i not want to burn it all down?

Bertrand Russell

Posted in foreshadowing, lost in these purposes and collecting ours, Uncategorized, what day is it on February 19, 2009 by tony saputo

bertrand russell stated that we are only parts of a reality that is created five seconds before we experience it with our memories intact. if this procession could be true, how much power do we have  that has not yet been manifested? what dreams may come become a much more serious phrase, and who we are could be determined by our own very will. wait, wait, wait, this is who we are though is it not? how can we let the outside world tear us down? how can we we not  ALREADY  control these factors and build ourselves? How did we forget this, and who was it that told us to let go of these notions? Religion? Capitalism? The Government? Satan? God? Drugs? Hopelessness?

there is a strong undefined power and will in each and every being., and the idea that most people will live and die never realizing this potential is the torment of my very soul, being, and good will. How do you teach the children who are not in class? how can we let this be it? everything flying by the seat of its pants, unadulterated and naive as we whisper or scream out the qualities of victims. everything passing us up. no, no, no, IT IS US PASSING EVERYTHING UP. we let us be the suckers for the new millennium, and let us lose these hopes and heartaches.

well, obviously i may not be the soundest quality voice of this thesis or reference, but i cannot help but let this quell my heart with its limited and fluid beats. wake up, dream yourself, and become it. we are not here to be beaten, but here to ride out each dawn and sunset as the last instance of our glorius hopes and becomings. if you think this is about you, it is.

this is just a rant and the tirade of 5 billion years all coming to a point. Every day i have to work on why i am going to wake up tomorrow, and it is becoming harder and harder. this world does not have many places for a soul like mine. i’m starting to really feel left out.

summer is for suckers

Posted in exploding heart, glory in the overlooked on February 16, 2009 by tony saputo

more and more i am falling in love with our winters
the almost standstill of time collapsing into the end of our processes
the majesty enthralled in the last hurrah’s
the sacrifice of the mother for the blessings of her offspring

a true romantic season and lonesome
the state only a lover can love but none can quarrel
the season of my soul and a song for others to hear
is the dead quiet path, cold and abandoned, that hold all of our secrets, dreams, and urges just beyond the surface

and more and more i am finding the suckers
the ones who all love summer
just love convenience and distraction
a fools gold with an advertising dilemma

no matter what the cost
the glory or failure
i would take a beautiful death over a trivial past-timed livelihood any day
and would invite anyone to follow the footsteps i can leave behind

if it cannot be for me than for you
every moment is timed
every second is a farce
but the real things in this world are so still and so few

i could freeze in this and die smiling


Posted in Uncategorized on February 15, 2009 by jigsaw rhetoric

let us hold hands
swallow the sun
shed our clothes
touch tongues
laugh and play
tickle and spit
stroke our hair
fuck in the wind.