Archive for March, 2009

hang on, wait…

Posted in exploding heart, paranoia on March 29, 2009 by tony saputo

this is the morning we decidely crept up on
and it was liberating and fierce
we sang and danced in celebration
forgetting how short and fragile it all really is

well i guess i did not but i was there
and i saw the laughter, games, small talk all take place
while i bit my tongue and tasted whiskey
dwelling on my newest perception and shortcomings

as i sat i told an old friend everything we were about
and he told me his version of the same old story
but the newest thing is, ” i quit looking for happiness;
now i just am searching for truth.”

after all happiness is just a reckoned visage of how spoiled we are that day
that is, if we even appreciate it that much
and it is hard not to feel like a creep in the corner silent and contemplative
because maybe, just maybe it is all i really am.


william is bummed…

Posted in exploding heart, foreshadowing, glory in the overlooked, lost in these purposes and collecting ours on March 26, 2009 by tony saputo

more and more throughout the days i tend to carry this nostalgia
all old friends that i left with their tracks just basing the road
those i grabbed and screamed my passions only them to hear it back
and to say i miss it is an understatement

but to say we are not connected is the farce
and to not realize i carry every soul with me
to the jobs, to the bars, to the classrooms…
and in my room i have erected the shrine so i may never forget those who cannot forget me

when i come home stinking drunk and full of spite
a monster with out a soul
it is the same shrine to make me human yet again
and the same love i remember
to break my heart every time i forget
who i really am

we all like to produce and direct from time to time
but after enough raises of the cup
and the coughs of our trespasses exhuming our lungs
we grow tired of trying so hard
finally we let ourselves be

it is the unsaid, all-known birthright but we fight so hard to destroy it

humanity is a shakespearean comedy born to fail in all our shakespearean tragedies.


Posted in foreshadowing, lost in these purposes and collecting ours on March 10, 2009 by tony saputo

in the loneliest night
the world spins on my axis
and no one else understands how dark it can really be

but she calls me because she is hurt and feels kind of alone
and i respond because it feels good to be needed
before sleep can rob us of our salvation
happiness and joy rumbles
washing out this city, overcoming every expectation and doubt

it feels real
i accept and want it
and adhere loyalty

in the morning
we forget how selfless we can really be
and start over our lives
not caring, indulged in this world
shit to our necks and lies deep as bone
perfection slips us by and i am left wanting

this is me giving up
and this axis will only be mine and mine alone
until the dust settles
and i with the dust
will you ever even think of my name again.

do not think i wanted you to have anything less than everything
this is not foolish
it takes a brave man to show what he has lost
to show he has nothing to lose anymore.

a few hours will blow anything apart

Posted in advice, foreshadowing on March 7, 2009 by tony saputo

a lot can happen when it really needs to
jupiter turning over his hand covering the mouth that brought us all
a titan yawning
can make everything change in an instant

do not forget
everything we are
everything we see
everything we love
everything outwards from all of us
is still in our hands

the view
the purpose
the outcome
do not let these things control the grip of our palms’ reality

fear or love
what is the choice?

Fuck Everything

Posted in Uncategorized on March 7, 2009 by jigsaw rhetoric

Drink too much and fuck everything that you can.
There’s only so much that can be said about holding hands.
But spreading seeds will plant you a story.
Narrating inside your head through the night until morning.
Carve “Luna” into your forehead.
We are children of the Moon.
These days of dumb comfortability will dispose of you soon.

end it.

Posted in what the hell is wrong with me? on March 4, 2009 by tony saputo

people like to talk, whether or not we want to hear them
and as the discourse roles out
i see the whole world spinning on without me
maybe i should keep it this way

this is not about leaving it all behind
it is about leaving it all
where is my soul when i would rather be dead
than to live another day like i have been?

no one takes you serious when you say you are holding the gun
but everyone respects a wink and barrel
how soon will these words be heavy enough
to ruin someone else’s day other than my own

i cannot be sorry
i cannot be anything

chop off the head already

Posted in i'm afraid of americans, paranoia on March 1, 2009 by tony saputo

paranoia, what an amazing companion you are becoming
silently filling my visage
checking over my shoulder to always find you
making faces appear in crowds where she is long away from
the stomach pains colliding with a nervous rash of heat and spider bites
coiling my desperation in to a macabre dream
losing myself in you
it is almost like we are in love
This is no longer creative writing, but a message that i am afraid i really may be losing my shit. It’s embarrassing to say it in the least.