Archive for April, 2009

passing on…

Posted in foreshadowing on April 30, 2009 by tony saputo

the more days that pass though these hands
the less these hands seem to care
and the more these hands work to make a completely new operation

where i live only in my own world
open and ready to be submersed
forgetting how it was and who i am

forgetting and just experiencing
the life and love everyone seems to leave behind
the simple and trustworthy

the hope of the hopeless nomad
the dreams of the lost tirades
will lure me in, absorbing me so much, you will never see me again

and if you see me, you will not know my face or language
those who have known me will say i have passed on
and those who will know me will be touched
as i have been touched by all of you

sometimes the world is not worth saving when it stands against saving yourself

how large and small we all can be
how significant we want to be
how trivial we really are



Posted in lost in these purposes and collecting ours, Uncategorized, what the hell is wrong with me?, what the hell is wrong with us on April 21, 2009 by tony saputo

so everything in time becomes this stale lost process
and as we try to tell ourselves how hilarious the joke is
we both realize we are part of it too.

so the laughter tries to opaque the paranoia
and we keep drinking to feel satisfied
finally the doors lock and together, we come home

as you sleep, i sneak out the back door
and catch a plane on a hot ticket and one hell of a dramatic exit
knowing when you wake up, you will soon forget me, i laugh and jump into the ocean

pissing the days away
forgetting every drop of blood and sweat that was put into me
i drown in self absorbed lust and finally hold onto the back of that beast known as freedom

what a selfish, dirty fuck
but what a selfless, hopeless dream i used to be


Posted in Uncategorized on April 19, 2009 by jigsaw rhetoric

Pushed and boiled by the father.
Held back. Kept safe by the mother.
There are ways I want you to die.
There is a way I avoid dying.
It’s a left right brain fight.
Needing an addiction to occupy my mind.
Fuck you for pulling the hooks.
Fuck you for pulling the hooks.
Another day you’ve slipped past the pain.
Let it brew. Let it shimmer.
The shine to burn out your eyes.

Get Back

Posted in Uncategorized on April 19, 2009 by jigsaw rhetoric

I took a skeleton key I made from memories and escaped from my friends. They like to carry chains. I like to eat them. Turning everything to shit can’t hold me down. That’s why it drops from my ass and falls to the ground.

Portable Pottymouth

Posted in Uncategorized on April 19, 2009 by jigsaw rhetoric

spit my cum in a pile of shit.
sweating and collecting in an old public pit.
missing the target and hitting a grave
when pissing on friends now dead were the days.

Rough Rider

Posted in Uncategorized on April 19, 2009 by jigsaw rhetoric

tricycle wheel crushing my brain
spinning my memories and riding away.
i thought i could use my tongue to speak
but got lost in the moment
tasting everything that i think.
appreciate what you have.
getting sad and mad over illusions you can’t grab?
i feel like dying on a ride…
through the confusion, chaos, and noise in my life.

peel bang

Posted in exploding heart, foreshadowing, is it really real?, lost in these purposes and collecting ours, paranoia, what day is it on April 4, 2009 by tony saputo

it is honorable when we peel back the skin far enough to really let the meat hang out
tender vessels of bright red tissues; symphonies of contorted fat and ligaments
but more beyond that is the structure we refer upon as strength
and more beyond  that is the protection of cages and calicium
and more beyond that is our hearts

cautious and quiet, never stopping, we waiver these pumpers to demons and angels alike.
we salt our earth with blood spills and jealousy
and we do it for our passions, lusts, and farce beliefs.
we take all we can and in wiping our gorging mouths off, we ask for more.

when you dream, is it of the most wonderful things ever anymore?
or is it when did we happen? how did we get here? who the fuck am i?
all i ever wanted out of life is to take something ruined and fashion it perfect.
peel back the surface of this earth and show the wonders of everything we cannot see.
peel back myself and show selflessness, patience, and heart.
peel back the world and guard us from evil
peel back the world and experience the extraordinary

tequila on rocks and the nervous cigarette like to tell me that i may never have this opportunity
I tell them, “they better hope so, cause i’ll take this whole world out in a fucking bang.”