Archive for the butterflies envy this Category

broken jaw

Posted in butterflies envy this, glory in the overlooked, is it really real?, lost in these purposes and collecting ours on August 24, 2009 by tony saputo

a moment, and i snap my jaw into place, then out
jagged edges form, calling my name,
telling me they want me but will not love
showing me the next step
for some it is the millionth, others-trillionth

the world runs loose, untied, unforgiving
swearing all of us to her rusty womb
searing her name upon my longing soul
being sure to show me no regret or hesitation
she puts me to sleep and i fuddle through the collision

wake in pools of explosion, wildfire, and ever standing guilt
you will wish for shit and piss, i promise.
instead, the ears ring, singing of a mistaken mortality
harmonizing calamity with survival
the surreal overtones molto crescendo from an underwhelming reality

the glass breaks, liquids and smoke present my ignorance
waking upon the realization of what i was so close to
the life lost, the lives lost…. of whom were loved?
of whom did i love? of what did i fill it with?
all these questions, even after the matter,

you can cross the line, and bend all the edges you want; even then, you may still remain without an answer…
today i taught myself how to blow up this world
tomorrow i teach myself how to put it back together
chaos in order in chaos in order in chaos in order.


do you like being here?

Posted in butterflies envy this on May 31, 2009 by tony saputo

yesterday i was asked by one of the sweetest smiles ever if i liked being here…
i misinterpreted the question and quickly said yes
she smiled even sweeter and said, “no, i meant saint louis.”

i smiled back and kind of chuckled…

two more sips

Posted in butterflies envy this, guilt in the serenity, heartbreak on December 12, 2008 by tony saputo

it’s an easy downhill slide, that is us visiting that past which gave us no view.
the blinders are easily shut and rendered as such a great time.
speak your words of the events lost in between borrowed drags,
and in through the dancing pirouettes the smoke shows fools ignorant of their own jest or patronized squander.

this is the reality i see day in, day out.
sleep and laugh off these hours, for they really are our last.

if i prayed, i would pray for us.
if you could see, you would understand.
hope is not a bit of faith in what we are wanting, but a whole shit ton of needs we are all forgetting.

do not forget me.

we are all evil and liars, all i want is it to end

Posted in butterflies envy this, foreshadowing on September 14, 2008 by tony saputo

there is a point in one’s life when you see what is really behind all the flesh.
you call it aura, esteem, personality, dreams, bullshit, or chi
it’s all foolish until you experience it yourself

every man can line up and lift the weight
until one knows the mass and the material
we are all dreamers and full of our shit

i woke today still dreaming just to see life become a little harder
as much as i would like to be seeing friends and lovers right now
i sit alone and realize i have changed and will never come back

alas, praises to the child i used to be
with welcomed homecomings to the man i am
i cannot wait to start another day

i feel this and i love it all
this poor world
how much more abuse can she take?