Archive for the disdain without dilemma Category

what am i becoming?

Posted in disdain without dilemma on October 22, 2008 by tony saputo

dreams are what they are because you are sleeping
as an insomniac, sleep is but a waned desire for me
also, as myself, sleep is something i cannot give into as well

it takes a lot knowing who i am becoming is destined for solitude
but this is my soul, my body, and my fate
these questions i keep asking myself are useless

give me the person whom can accept the curmudgeon i am becoming
give me a light in the dark world i have so longed to burn
and perhaps, just maybe, i could learn to love again

until then all i see is fire
all i know is pain and selfishness
and the lack of a world who will see what i see

there is only fear or love
and i have forgotten how to be afraid
which, obviously, leaves love


meditation masturbation

Posted in disdain without dilemma on July 30, 2008 by tony saputo

there is no time like the present
and no present like this atmosphere
with eyes locked away in solitude
i feel this hurt and i have no way or form to explain it
meditation has been torture for me the past year or so
all i feel is the desire
of lost souls, longing loved ones
hungering for more
and never feeling satisfaction
with all this
we still try to tell ourselves we are so golden
so content to drive to occupations and fancy events
with fancy acquaintances in fancy venues
in fancy cars donning fancy clothes
with fancy conversations and tired jests
to keep ourselves away
to keep ourselves busy
and all i can think about, all i can give
all i want, and all i can be
is love