Archive for the glory in the overlooked Category

love notes

Posted in does anyone even know what love is?, exploding heart, glory in the overlooked, guilt in the serenity, heartbreak on February 15, 2010 by tony saputo

in every word i lost more
shaved off a bit of the ol’ soul
delivered it to you in the rotten paper box
told you of my love and swallowed my pride
held you up to a light and saw no imperfections
defined you as perfect and used you as the looking glass
measured and weighed the world through your beauty
destroyed myself through your hijinks
shook down, scared, along with the glorious wonder
questioned every sentence
analyzed every moment
left empty handed where love used to be
noted you as oblivious
noted you as wanted
noted myself as the shortcoming
noted.

the songs in winds

Posted in glory in the overlooked, heartbreak, lost in these purposes and collecting ours on December 2, 2009 by tony saputo

dissolve into rudiments
a force that controls, and a hope that lingers
stuck in the gums
a mouth cancer to be washed out upon whisky, fire, and spit
every chance i had lost

and upon her visage
much like the feather in the breeze
they are so much more beautiful dancing with the wind and her dreams
other than the settled foundation in the grass
perhaps i just learned what they always knew

and upon a callous society
the spiritual hind of an elephant wrapped around the tender fear
it is so easy to be afraid of something real
this is not a chance or trivium
this has been planned

and as us, the leaves, the feather, the loves, the losses travel
in this mother’s cursed twirling breaths
the songs of the bourgeois have been sung since we descended
and as we destroy our loves out loud and sing these melodies
i lie still, holding on, and quietly humming, of an unknown, unheard timbre, till i know it is safe to sing aloud.

if you forget this nightingale love, you never knew it…

broken jaw

Posted in butterflies envy this, glory in the overlooked, is it really real?, lost in these purposes and collecting ours on August 24, 2009 by tony saputo

a moment, and i snap my jaw into place, then out
jagged edges form, calling my name,
telling me they want me but will not love
showing me the next step
for some it is the millionth, others-trillionth

the world runs loose, untied, unforgiving
swearing all of us to her rusty womb
searing her name upon my longing soul
being sure to show me no regret or hesitation
she puts me to sleep and i fuddle through the collision

wake in pools of explosion, wildfire, and ever standing guilt
you will wish for shit and piss, i promise.
instead, the ears ring, singing of a mistaken mortality
harmonizing calamity with survival
the surreal overtones molto crescendo from an underwhelming reality

the glass breaks, liquids and smoke present my ignorance
waking upon the realization of what i was so close to
the life lost, the lives lost…. of whom were loved?
of whom did i love? of what did i fill it with?
all these questions, even after the matter,

you can cross the line, and bend all the edges you want; even then, you may still remain without an answer…
today i taught myself how to blow up this world
tomorrow i teach myself how to put it back together
chaos in order in chaos in order in chaos in order.

your move…

Posted in foreshadowing, glory in the overlooked, guilt in the serenity on July 23, 2009 by tony saputo

renew each and every instance
you will still come up not listening
varied are the ways we create and destroy
oursleves
purposes
actions and words

you should have told it all from the beginning
that we are all wounds trying to heal
that you are just as lost as i am
fevered
weak
dying alone

sheltered in safety for too long
to be spoiled in the rays
leaves the notion to detach so romantic
confused
aggravating
bitter and proud

rest along and read aloud
forget what you were and where you came from
you are only what is and will be
afraid
tricked
selfish and denying

everything is where it needs to be
no matter how much we move the pieces
the game will always be the same… 
somber
cold
evil and manipulative

this city really is sinking…

Posted in foreshadowing, glory in the overlooked, guilt in the serenity, paranoia on May 31, 2009 by tony saputo

as the day grows more and more distant i cannnot help but confront these small insignificant thoughts and accept them:

the fucker who can prove me right again and again
the woman who wanted my mouth and heart to stay shut
the unreachable person who understands love through and through
the times of waste that i cannot help but love
the vision of summer snow, reminding me what it used to mean just a year ago
the fleeting of friends, the sustain of family
knowing blood does not really matter
being loved
loving those who deserve it
remembering the lists made in grass drunk on 2 bottles of wine
feeling completely confident that there is no turning back
the saltwater burning my open wounds
the punches that landed
the 4 year old child i let go away
the 4 year old child i will protect with everything i have
the knowing and reverence of the disconnect
proud to not be like you
hating you for not being like me
hating you for the wallowing of ignorance, greed, irresponsibility, sloppy drunkenness, malice, shit-thin pride just to lean into playing the martyr.
the fools of this city
and the large iridescent mouth that moves them all around

i am proud to never know you again
and this beat, this tracking path
is not for you

we are simply not the same
and as much of a dick i may be
everything i have said is very real.

i just have to accept how much better i have become
better than most
but not good enough quite yet.

give me every challenge
i am scared of nothing and am ready to be the most dangerous person you have ever known…

william is bummed…

Posted in exploding heart, foreshadowing, glory in the overlooked, lost in these purposes and collecting ours on March 26, 2009 by tony saputo

more and more throughout the days i tend to carry this nostalgia
all old friends that i left with their tracks just basing the road
those i grabbed and screamed my passions only them to hear it back
and to say i miss it is an understatement

but to say we are not connected is the farce
and to not realize i carry every soul with me
to the jobs, to the bars, to the classrooms…
and in my room i have erected the shrine so i may never forget those who cannot forget me

when i come home stinking drunk and full of spite
a monster with out a soul
it is the same shrine to make me human yet again
and the same love i remember
to break my heart every time i forget
who i really am

we all like to produce and direct from time to time
but after enough raises of the cup
and the coughs of our trespasses exhuming our lungs
we grow tired of trying so hard
finally we let ourselves be

it is the unsaid, all-known birthright but we fight so hard to destroy it

humanity is a shakespearean comedy born to fail in all our shakespearean tragedies.

bitter butter burnt

Posted in glory in the overlooked, guilt in the serenity, heartbreak, is it really real?, Uncategorized, what the hell is wrong with me?, what the hell is wrong with us on February 19, 2009 by tony saputo

i know damn fine what i look like to them
a little too eccentric, not distant enough
confused, belligerent, assuming,
foolish, another poor hopeless romance, a sap

an old drunken fool trapped inside the underbelly of a twenty-something  scoundrel
a careless slob of little consideration
the gravity of the clumsy jester
the  loneliness of an hopeless surface combining with an illusion of the profane

all they have seen, even you, as these letters fill an illusion of time and memories
have not seen what i have
though by sight my feet is grounded firmly
i have been floating still and motionless while the world keeps spinning

i have not been able to catch up since
we lose our dreams and sell the rights
servitude has been resurrected as a fiscal hierarchy
as i sail past the cocaine and false induced smiles

there is a huge disregard for everything gorgeous, beautiful, and right
how can i not want to burn it all down?